Thursday, November 13, 2008

Comparison of my lifestyles

RELOCATIONIST'S REPORT

Now Playing: I Think I'm Paranoid - Garbage
Mood: comparative...how obvious is that? LOL

So just to outline the differences and changes made to my lifestyle ever since I moved to Singapore

Malaysia

In short = chillax. From the start of the year, I kinda dissed the fact that fantasies remain as fantasies, no such thing as superpower whatsoever. Everything in my life would be normal, my future is set to be a cartoonist. Everyone in my class had this sense of togetherness, like a big family, mainly coz most of them are new this year. But this togetherness in my class kinda shadowed the fact that this school is also torn apart, there's little cliques you see everyday around the school all the time, like every other high school. I didn't even have to worry much about my results, they're all just around the average, or good area (cept for Maths), and I didn't really had to stick my head to books. I was an all out tomboy, an individualist because of that, but I had a crush. Two weird combinations, come together into something that doesn't work, but that's the minor problem in my life. The real problem is that in Malaysia, the entertainment industry is extremly BLEAK! Well, one of the reasons why I supported Childhood Dreamers soo much was because maybe, just maybe, they can help Malaysia's entertainment industry as we all know there's more amounts of home grown bands formed every now and then. But the bigger problem was under animations, Kampong Boy was sucessful locally, but I highly doubt Americans would know what the heck it is. I repeat to myself again, fantasies = fantasies only. Seems that Malaysia has both pros and cons.

Singapore

In short = weird. the first thing was that I couldn't enter the school because I didn't know what format or topic they're giving us. I was f**k horrible at Maths, even worse, I was motherf**king horrible in the Add Maths section, I NEVER STUDIED ADD MATHS THE FIRST PLACE!! But in the end I got to catch up to the work in school and they're also in the "B" area...cept for Add Maths, again, and Geography, which was far different than what I would have expected in Form 3 (Sec 3 for you Singaporeans) CASE STUDIES!!! I MUST MEMORISE! In here, I'm a loner. Why? idk, people don't come and talk to me I don't talke to them, which is how the whole of 4Sc3 got so close at the first place - PEOPLE TALKED TO ME! In here, I'm just...invisible. I've got into wearing skirts now due to me being transphobic after the Genting Highland incident. But my personality remains the same - violent, I don't care what the world says, blur, sometimes sugar high. But it is from here that I started altering my future, I discovered how to scream metal songs, and then I started so--w---ing (figure that yourselves) and then I had the awkward idea to form a band, however, due to the fact no one talks to me, I feel futureless again. And then I discovered psionics, and then lost another friend due to this, and then discovered SOMETHING EVEN WEIRDER THAN THE PHENOMENA OF THE PARANORMAL!!! SOMETHING THAT CAN BLOW ONE'S MIND AWAY IF THEY READ IT!! (not revealing, coz I never will, it could trigger war...) Right now I seriously wished I wasn't fated to be who I truly am. I am just...Amanda. Why me? I feel awkwardly stressed out, I'm still definately sceptical about this, I don't think I'm living in a fantasy world. I think maybe he just jumped into conclusions thinking I really am who I am. No. Why? How? If all of it is true, I want to unwind time COMPLETELY and then find its restart button, so I can just wish my true fate away....it's far too....cruel? stressful? sudden? creepy? or just beyond English vocabulary

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